Appreciation

A few months ago, both on the website and in the Daifukuji Newsletter, I explained my intention to move from Hawaii back to Houston, Texas. I was regretful about leaving Hawaii but optimistic about the move. I must say, though, that the move was very stressful. I have my wife and zazen to thank for the move’s not being more upsetting than it was.

In Hawaii, we lived in a 3-bedroom, 2-bath condominium. We had a good deal of furniture, plus a car, to ship to Houston. Closing dates for the sale of the condominium in Hawaii and the purchase of a house in Houston fell out in such a way that when we moved into the Houston house, we had a good 10 weeks in the house before we could receive the furniture and car. So there we were in a 5-bedroom, 3 & 1/2 -bath house that felt like an empty barn.

I will pass over all the frets that were involved in the purchases and other arrangements necessary to live in the barn before receiving the furniture and car. The resourcefulness, optimism, and energy of my wife were a great resource to me during this time.  

And there was zazen. No matter the daily fretting, zazen each day put me in a space that made it bearable. I came to a deep appreciation of the practice. When I set thinking aside and just attended to breathing, I was lowered into a kind of deep peace, not cognizable or describable at all, that was very sustaining. Whatever it might be called, I was very grateful for the daily experience of it.